The Legend of the Lost Remote.

Sep 23 2019
Desmond St.Vitus

It was my first assignment. Promotions intern for the Legendary KFRC Sturgeon. I couldn’t believe it. Me, a 16-year old, getting hired by the hottest station, not only in the S.F. Bay Area, but anywhere, ever.

I was a little excited.

We were supposed to meet the talent on-location, but they still weren’t sure who it was going to be. Not to worry, they told us, it would all work out when we got there.

Normally, Wild Bill would take us out, but there was a new kid filling in named Chris we hadn’t seen before. (None of us had ever met each other before, so that was pretty normal.) He looked a little young, but he was really into it, so we figured that he knew what he was doing. We didn’t know that he thought WE knew what we were doing.

The plan was to set up at the State Fair, but they didn’t mention WHICH state! We tried all of the ones we could think of and had a pretty good time doing that.

After we’d had enough deep fried ice cream to kill an Elvis, we decided to bring The Sturgeon home.

So, after 30-something years (give or take a couple of years delay at the toll plaza)  Wild Bill found us, tidied us up, and fixed everything good as new (mostly so The Captain wouldn’t kill him.)

500 Washington Street

Then we pulled up in front of the KFRC Studios at 500 Washington Street, ready for our heroes’ welcome. Some clown changed the signs and filled the place with people who pretended to have no idea what we were talking about. Bobby Ocean must have put them up to it. What a joker!

We did the only other thing we could think of. We went to the original KFRC Studios at 415 Bush Street. They must have moved the door! We couldn’t figure out where to knock. The only things we found there were a salon and a sandwich shop!

415 Bush Street
The Sturgeon in front of 415 Bush Street

We asked around the bars on Claude Alley but none of them would serve any of us after they heard our story, saying something about “had enough already.”

So we waited for Jeff to finish his sandwich and Bill to finish his makeover then we loaded back aboard to figure out what to do next.

The remaining Sturgeoneers

There we were, and it was a mess. Bryan, Jeff, Mighty Matt, Chris, John, Bill, me, and a kid named Shervin that we found along the way (long story). Sitting in the Mobile Studio, we decided that there was only one thing we could do, the only thing that a bunch of guys who spent the last 30-something years spreading the KFRC love could do. The only thing we ever knew how to do… Keep on truckin’.

After all, we’d been interning for over 30 years.

We know the BIG 610 is out there somewhere. There’s NO WAY that The Amazing A.M. could be gone. Everyone loves KFRC. They invented great radio. The only way that KFRC could really be gone is if great radio was in real trouble. The idea is as ridiculous as it sounds!

So, we’re going to drive this Sturgeon around and keep on looking for the world’s greatest radio station. We’ll keep swinging that MARTI beam around  until someone picks up our signal. …And maybe, just maybe, at one of these car shows, fairs, concerts, reunions, or ball games, SOMEONE will turn up a clue so we can go home!

We’ll see you out there. Somewhere.

Desmond and the Mobile Sturgeon Crew

4 Replies to “The Legend of the Lost Remote.”

  1. Very nice Desmond! You nailed it… Absolute theatre of the mind… Although Ocean May have added a few more philosophical descriptives. (Ha!) Still, you nailed it! And the journey continues in 2020. ?Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’?…
    (Wild Bill)

      1. Keep her flying Desmond (and devotees). I remember listening to KFRC at night back on the mid-60s when the signal was bouncing across the cosmos.

        Virginia City

  2. Oh, What a Night! When the lights go down in the City. Thanks for the boogie ride guys! What a blast.

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